I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
