In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
