remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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