i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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