I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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