Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just invented taco cereal.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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