i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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