It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
