you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
