I must be too annoying 4 u.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
