I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
