I can't watch pbs sober anymore
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
