last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
