On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
