Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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