38 yer olds are good kisserssss
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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