I'm jealous of your bromance
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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