I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
vagina is talking i cant
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
