Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
