This girl is more easily done than said...
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
its liver damage thursday
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
