This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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