Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she looked like the before picture.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Randomize
