My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
