i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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