if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
She announced her abortion via fbk
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
