Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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