This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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