So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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