i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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