forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
