I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
