Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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