theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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