Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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