god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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