Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
