I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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