My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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