I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
cat food counts as protein by the way
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
