No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
