That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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