I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
