My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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