Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
