the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
