I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
