I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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