Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
