Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
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