She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
