Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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